Greetings Big Beautiful People !

I was thinking about the evolution of relationships the other day, and the following thought came to mind :

Let's travel back through the decades to the Women's Rights movement and prior.

Back in the 40's and 50's (Our Grandparent's generation) relationships were different. Most of us can say that our grandparents and great grand parents were married to that 1 person the whole time. They stuck together through good times and bad and respected the vows o  more...

Greetings Big Beautiful People !

I was thinking about the evolution of relationships the other day, and the following thought came to mind :

Let's travel back through the decades to the Women's Rights movement and prior.

Back in the 40's and 50's (Our Grandparent's generation) relationships were different. Most of us can say that our grandparents and great grand parents were married to that 1 person the whole time. They stuck together through good times and bad and respected the vows of matromony. I remeber when I was in elementary school I was the only kid with a divorced mom. I felt so akward, today it's commonplace. In my generation I have seen younger parents, outrageous infedility (at least back in the day when it went on it was more discreet)and more single people in their older age.

What caused such a dramatic shift ?

I was reading about 1940's and 50's life and it seemed as though for woman, back then your aspiration was to grow up and be the best wife and mother you could be. The game in life was to score an educated, successful husband that you could adore and serve. Men had a different set of rules and freedoms they could follow, but the woman was to stay home and make sure that roast was ready, table perfect and kids clean and behaved by the time he got home. Eventually time gave birth to a different generation of women who wanted more out of life. They wanted careers, they wanted their voices heard and they wanted to cut the apron strings and explore life and the endless potential outside of the homefront. In time after much struggle they did. Women could now earn their own money, fund their own material items and support themselves. Then with the sexual revolution and drug explosion of the 60's and 70's
women wanted to explore sexual liberation and experience different men and thus came the birth of " casual sex ", and one of my grandma's favorite phrases - " Why buy the cow when they can get the milk for free ? ". Point taken, that could also be one reason that men are no longer in a rush to get married or stay in a committed relationship.

Men saw this and there is where I think relationships changed. I think sometimes that men then thought that we didn't need them at all. Maybe we got too strong and in exchange lost some of the benefits we had. While we were busy building up our independence the men were alienated and in turn increased their independence and the need for a woman to cook or clean or love became less of a priority. I noticed a lot of men from my generation know how to cook for themselves, sew, clean and with the intergration of pornography into mainstream life and hot to trott women, take care of their own sexual itches too. The distance between man and woman and the goal of a substantial relationship continues to fade into obscurity. I think it is easy for a woman to get sex if she went out there and looked for it. However to find a man who wants to be a dedicated husband, father and co provider is very, very difficult. Nowadays, if you do find that special man you also have to worry about him getting bored after some years or him lusting after another now that marriage is no longer a "forever" commitment.

I personally wish we could of met in the middle. I want to work, I want to be able to express my opinions and I want to feel confident in my sexuality and be expressive, however I also want to take care of my man. I want to be his support, biggest fan, cook and clean for him and make him proud of his home and me. I would want our kids to look up to him as a role model of what a strong, intelligent, spohisticated, ambitious, responsible real man is all about.

Sometimes I listen to the radio and hear these song where men refer to woman as B's and Ho's and it just seems like men don't value women as much anymore. Like, we are not taken seriously. So, after all the fighting we did to get ourselves to up the level we are today - where we even have a woman in the presidential race -
I feel sometimes like we gained power, but lost respect. It is difficult to truly have one without the other. less...

True Domestic Violence is more talked about but Women are now becoming the Abusers too. Physically and mentally abusive Ala-bet they are a small minority.Yes kids know that they can use the system against their parents. As for CPS(Child Protective Services) the System pardon my French is LE Toilet. In my case for my divorce I Had to get psych Eval, My Ex was so adept at manipulating the system ,
( because of her past history with psych problems) that they had me painted as "Nuttier th  more...

True Domestic Violence is more talked about but Women are now becoming the Abusers too. Physically and mentally abusive Ala-bet they are a small minority.Yes kids know that they can use the system against their parents. As for CPS(Child Protective Services) the System pardon my French is LE Toilet. In my case for my divorce I Had to get psych Eval, My Ex was so adept at manipulating the system ,
( because of her past history with psych problems) that they had me painted as "Nuttier than a Fruitcake" and "Hannibal Lechter" rolled up in one. You try working three jobs to avoid bankruptcy( and have you wife continually spend your self deeper in to debt with things she really did not need and have the stress of having to deal with her family camped out in you house all the time. Stress of Them trying to tell you what you cannot do in your own house. and not be a little out of it.She acted like she was "Mother Theresa" and walked on water. She had a Government Lower at government expense , cost her only 300 for her lawyer. Me I am still paying off my legal bills.30,000 was my cost for the lawyer.Plus I had to pay(1,000) for her court costs. Like the country Song by Jerry Clower " She Got the Gold Mine ,I got the shaft! Yes you ladies have come a long way towards equality, but the road should go both ways. Don't be the Victimizer and claim you are the victim less...

I totally agree with Butterball, with one exception. With the rise of women, has come the rise of women's issues-- which brings "home" issues into the forefront. So, now domestic violence is a key issue. Which is good, and bad. Not only are abused women and children being detected, protected and vindicated, but perfectly normal self-respecting God-fearing adults are being persecuted for "spanking" their kids. And the manipulative side of the child has come to embrace this  more...

I totally agree with Butterball, with one exception. With the rise of women, has come the rise of women's issues-- which brings "home" issues into the forefront. So, now domestic violence is a key issue. Which is good, and bad. Not only are abused women and children being detected, protected and vindicated, but perfectly normal self-respecting God-fearing adults are being persecuted for "spanking" their kids. And the manipulative side of the child has come to embrace this generalized protection. Not only are parents now refrained and restrained from spanking their kids, some are being put in jail. So, tell me people, when you have done the cajoling, persuading, the bribing, the punishing, the restriction, the pleading, the explaining, the therapy and the correct documentation of such-- when you have done all that, and your 14 year old (who is bigger than you and loads more volatile) decides he is going to tell someone you are abusing him (wholly untrue...)-- Tell me folks. THEN what do you do? Parents today are frightened into submission to societal conformation, which was never the case before. And NOW look what's happened (See Vegas' Blog...) LOL and It's a double edged sword, and I'm right on the tip of it! True less...

"I feel sometimes like we gained power, but lost respect. It is difficult to truly have one without the other."

I do not think that the sexual revolution caused women to lose respect. I think that women have always been disrespected. When I think about society's expectation of women before the sexual revolution, I am so glad that I was not an adult at that time. Before the sexual revolution, the highest expectation of a woman was to be a homemaker and a mother. That was it. Per  more...

"I feel sometimes like we gained power, but lost respect. It is difficult to truly have one without the other."

I do not think that the sexual revolution caused women to lose respect. I think that women have always been disrespected. When I think about society's expectation of women before the sexual revolution, I am so glad that I was not an adult at that time. Before the sexual revolution, the highest expectation of a woman was to be a homemaker and a mother. That was it. Period. The needs of her husband and children came first.

With marriage came a woman's lack of financial independence. She had to depend on a man for everything that she had. That could be a great situation for a woman who had a man who truly loved her and respected her. But for the woman who was married to someone who saw her merely as his legal servant and baby maker, that may not have been a good thing. Without resources of her own, she would be hard pressed to leave him if she ended up in an abusive marriage. Or if he did something that made her have to leave the marriage.

Also, before the sexual revolution, the rules that society placed on women were unfair and discouraged them from being their best at whatever their talents were or might have been. From the time they were teenagers, girls were expected to be less than their male counterparts. They were supposed to be soft spoken, hide their intelligence and be less physical than males. Their opinions were not needed or listened to if they conflicted with a man's. In other words, they were supposed to take a back seat to men.

And let us not forget that all of this had to be done in girdles, pointy toed heels and with great big smiles!

To me, prior to the sexual revolution, women were encouraged to be less than an independent, intelligent human being and repressed economically, sexually and intellectually. What can be more disrespectful than that??

I think that because the sexual revolution has shattered the myth that women are frail and weak, men are allowed to be more vocal about how some of them really feel about women. And I don't think that for the most part and for most men, the perspective has changed. Now men can call a woman the "B" word and the "H" word and get away with it because we women are not going to swoon and catch the vapors because we are called such names. As a matter of fact, I once heard a very well respected woman say that the letters of the "B" word stands for "Broad In Total Control of Herself". And while I don't answer to, nor am I the negative connotation of the "B" word, I am so grateful that I was born in 1961 and that I am allowed to be that Broad.

I am so glad that you brought this subject up, VegasAngel. It is a very good topic and I hope that other's join to give their opinions.

Take care. less...

VegasAngel76 in my humble opinion you are most heartily correct that things have changed . But I differ slightly on the reasons .The ease of getting a divorce the lack of stigma of being divorced. the pervasive attitude of not sticking,and compleating a task that is "Too hard." The attitude is to take the easy way out.The lack of good parenting in the homes. lack of accepting responsibility for ones actions. Back when I went to school you got paddled when you misbehaved.Now it   more...

VegasAngel76 in my humble opinion you are most heartily correct that things have changed . But I differ slightly on the reasons .The ease of getting a divorce the lack of stigma of being divorced. the pervasive attitude of not sticking,and compleating a task that is "Too hard." The attitude is to take the easy way out.The lack of good parenting in the homes. lack of accepting responsibility for ones actions. Back when I went to school you got paddled when you misbehaved.Now it is: "Not my fault because I have (fill in the alphabet soup of causes). It was simple you got pops at school and they called your parents,then you get them again when you got home. When you misbehaved. Also I feel there is the attitude that schools are supposed to teach our kids every thing.I feel this is wrong. Teaching starts in the home.So if the parents are not teaching responsibility for their actions,and respect for others,to their children from the time they are born till they are adults. Teach by example. DEEDS NOT WORDS! If they dont. Then I feel the parents have failed their children.The lack of respect for others.It is more popular now to be mean and cruel , than it is to be respectful to others . We as a society have become uncivilized . The "Law of the Jungle", now has become the law of the land. Respect for others has become obsolete, Disrespect for others, is now the in thing. Stay at home moms are belittled by the "Fema-Nazi"s as being "oppressed by Men" I feel that stay at home moms have a harder job than going to a office and working at a job there. OK so the Dollar pay of a stay at home mom is not the greatest. But the job is probably the most important job as a woman they can have. The job is the development of their children in to productive, responsible,members of society. I feel women can balance both the home and the public work place , but it will take great effort on their partners, and family to do so. But the rewards are many.
That is my humble opinion. I appolagize if I have ruffeled anyone's feathers. less...