Can you fall in love with someone you've only written or phone to??? Can you be in love with someone you've never met physically.

Let's say you have an incredible connection in telephone, could you say I love you before you meet.

I've raised the subject with a friend... I think it's not possible and he does. About helping us settle the question.

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Probably... I don't doubt that you might feel the physical attraction via Webc*m and pictures... My brain is also my biggest s*x organ... I get turned on by the way a man expresses himself, his voice...

I guess it all depends on your expectations. If you expect there to be instantaneous combustion with no awkwardness you will probably be disappointed. There may be a wee bit of awkwardness of first being physically together, just because it IS a bit  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Probably... I don't doubt that you might feel the physical attraction via Webc*m and pictures... My brain is also my biggest s*x organ... I get turned on by the way a man expresses himself, his voice, the way his just is... But in the end... what if you're in love, head over heels in love... and then you meet and the s*x is lousy... What do you do then??? I know, I know, I'm being the devil's advocate. I'm just trying to win the argument with my friend. I still feel like I need the confirmation of the physical presence to really say those simple three little words.

I guess it all depends on your expectations. If you expect there to be instantaneous combustion with no awkwardness you will probably be disappointed. There may be a wee bit of awkwardness of first being physically together, just because it IS a bit different and you haven't been able to physically touch before. But if you love each other that should quickly disappear.

I suppose the s*x could be lousy. That wasn't the case with us. ;) And I guess it depends on how important s*x is to you.

When my fiance and I first were dating we talked about what was important to us in a relationship. We both were of the opinion (and still are) that s*x is not THE most important aspect of a relationship TO US. It was the everyday physical and emotional intimacy that were MOST important. But it just so happens that once we did have s*x, it was awesome and still is. But I think that is because we love each other so much and it is STILL about intimacy for us. Emotional and physical intimacy. And loving to see that look of ecstacy on your partner's face that you know only you can give them.

But really great s*x takes a tremendous amount of trust. You have to be able to let yourself go and really give in to the moment. And you have to be able to let your partner know what really turns you on - even if it is something you might think is not "normal". And if you are lucky enough to have that level of trust there is no reason your s*x lives couldn't be awesome. Assuming you are on a similar wave length. And maybe that is the key. Discussing the topic of s*x and many other topics to determine if you ARE on the same wave length should occur early in the game. And by discussing s*x I don't mean positions, etc. I mean that you have similar ideas of the importance of this aspect of your relationship and one of you isn't into fetishes or something that the other is not open to. But this should come up fairly early in the LD relationship - just like it should in real life.

But isn't the s*x itself something that you can work on together? If two people are really care about each other, wouldn't you think that they would want to really please their partner s*xually? If so, it can only get better. Because if the desire to please is there, technique can be learned.

Would you give up if the first time it wasn't so hot? For example the first time I ever had s*x (a million years ago, lol) it wasn't very good. It took learning how I liked being touched etc. to get better. And it took love and trust before it could really blow my mind!! Couldn't it be the same in this case? Your partner might need to learn how you like to be touched and vice versa?

But the bottom line is - just because I could fall in love without physically meeting my love, doesn't mean everyone can. One of the best things about being human is that although we all have some similarities, we are all unique. And if you can't, either because you don't trust yourself or your partner enough to let yourself fall in love without a physical connection, then you can't. less...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 I understand perfectly what you are describing. It's just that I would be too afraid of getting to know him physically and not feeling any attraction. I'd feel superficial and totally shallow if I felt I was in love but couldn't get over the fact that I'm not attracted... so in a certain way I wouldn't let myself fall in love with someone without meeting them... I realize that now.

Ah there is the difference between us. I'm not your typical wom  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 I understand perfectly what you are describing. It's just that I would be too afraid of getting to know him physically and not feeling any attraction. I'd feel superficial and totally shallow if I felt I was in love but couldn't get over the fact that I'm not attracted... so in a certain way I wouldn't let myself fall in love with someone without meeting them... I realize that now.

Ah there is the difference between us. I'm not your typical woman I guess. I'm typically not physically attracted to random men. I might think they look nice, but I don't lust after them. I guess the brain really IS my largest s*x organ because I only become physically attracted to men I have come to know very well.

But one more question for you...you don't think after communicating via webcam, seeing their mannerisms, hearing their voice, looking into their eyes, albeit over the computer, that you could tell if there would be physical attraction? less...

I may have said we fell in love before we physically met. But I did not say it happened immediately. We were in very frequent contact via email, im with webcam, and audio recordings for over 6 months before I finally realized I'd fallen in love. And it was only once we had realized that we really were in a romantic relationship that we began to work on how we could have explore and nurture a relationship without physical contact. Its not easy, but where both parties are willing there are ways.

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Ozreadhead62 I do see your point of view... but allow me to return the question. Let s say you're in love with someone you've only met on line and then you meet them. There is no chemistry, no clic...

That's how i feel too!  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Ozreadhead62 I do see your point of view... but allow me to return the question. Let s say you're in love with someone you've only met on line and then you meet them. There is no chemistry, no clicking, no desire. Even if love is the most important, physical attraction, sex if you prefer is too. I could never be with someone that I don't want with everything in my body and soul. For me sex is a way of communicating love, if that doesn't work then you have a major problem, should you give up love because desire is not there... Because if your answer is yes, then by extrapolating, we could say the reverse is true too, desire without love could make for a lasting relationship??? I don't think so. To have something that will last the pull of time, I think you need both. To adresse your remark about friends, the difference and I've been there, is right from the beginning, when you're only friends you know if you're attracted or not and allow for affection to develop. If there is no attraction, the love becomes a very deep friendship.

That's how i feel too! less...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Come on guys, I was counting on you... you are all a bunch of romantics... hehehehehe Thanks to you... someone is laughing at me going, I told you so, I told you so... Grrrr!!!! It seems that only I...

You didn't want to read MY reply then? It WAS the FIRST reply...hummmph!x  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Come on guys, I was counting on you... you are all a bunch of romantics... hehehehehe Thanks to you... someone is laughing at me going, I told you so, I told you so... Grrrr!!!! It seems that only Islandgal is on my side. I think you can feel an attraction at an intellectual and emotional level, yes... but to say you love without actually physically know the person... it's just not done in my book. What if there are no physical chemistry?? One can't really take back an I love you just because the physical side doesn't work.

You didn't want to read MY reply then? It WAS the FIRST reply...hummmph!x less...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Bluegirl2006 You're exactly the person I wanted to see react to my blog. You are in love, I don't doubt that... but at the same time, were you in love before meeting him in person. The whole premise of this blog is can you be, truly be in love with someone before meeting them physically. Before and after you met your fiance in person, was there a difference in your feelings for him??

I was most definitely in love before we physically met.   more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Bluegirl2006 You're exactly the person I wanted to see react to my blog. You are in love, I don't doubt that... but at the same time, were you in love before meeting him in person. The whole premise of this blog is can you be, truly be in love with someone before meeting them physically. Before and after you met your fiance in person, was there a difference in your feelings for him??

I was most definitely in love before we physically met. Being together in person only made the feelings more intense. less...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Ozreadhead62 I do see your point of view... but allow me to return the question. Let s say you're in love with someone you've only met on line and then you meet them. There is no chemistry, no clic...

What is chemistry? Physical attraction? Desire? They can be there without having met physically.

As Oz said I believe webcam makes all the difference. My fiance and I live in separate countries. I'll be moving to his once I obtain a resident visa  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by petale46 Ozreadhead62 I do see your point of view... but allow me to return the question. Let s say you're in love with someone you've only met on line and then you meet them. There is no chemistry, no clicking, no desire. Even if love is the most important, physical attraction, sex if you prefer is too. I could never be with someone that I don't want with everything in my body and soul. For me sex is a way of communicating love, if that doesn't work then you have a major problem, should you give up love because desire is not there... Because if your answer is yes, then by extrapolating, we could say the reverse is true too, desire without love could make for a lasting relationship??? I don't think so. To have something that will last the pull of time, I think you need both. To adresse your remark about friends, the difference and I've been there, is right from the beginning, when you're only friends you know if you're attracted or not and allow for affection to develop. If there is no attraction, the love becomes a very deep friendship.

What is chemistry? Physical attraction? Desire? They can be there without having met physically.

As Oz said I believe webcam makes all the difference. My fiance and I live in separate countries. I'll be moving to his once I obtain a resident visa. But here's the thing. We spend HOURS together every day via webcam. We eat together, watch movies together, even SLEEP (and yes I mean sleep) together. And we talk and talk and talk. We know each other SOOOOO well. Probably much more than people who live in the same household. The only things we cannot do together via webcam are touch and leave the house. And YES Islandgirl, we can even look into each others eyes. And touching is something that is very important to both of us.

He's met both of my kids via webcam. I've talked to his friends via webcam.

So don't tell me you can't be "in love" without having met in person. Because I was and he was. (We still are!!! As he recently put it he loves me "a f*cking lot!!! lol) We have met in person now and it was JUST LIKE on the webcam. Only much better because we COULD touch and leave the house together.

I will grant you that he wouldn't discuss building a life together until we met physically. I think he was afraid something would be different in person. But it wasn't and we are now planning to be married next year. less...

Can you fall in love?? Yes, I did & believe he did also. I've been on this site a couple of years now. On my second day as a member I chatted with a man & had alot of fun. He did also. We continued to chat, e-mail, phone each other for awhile. After 3 months, he told me he thought he was in love. It scared me. I felt the same though. We continued this relationship for about a year & decided to meet. When we finally met, it was a short & quick lunch date. I really thought that after mee  more...

Can you fall in love?? Yes, I did & believe he did also. I've been on this site a couple of years now. On my second day as a member I chatted with a man & had alot of fun. He did also. We continued to chat, e-mail, phone each other for awhile. After 3 months, he told me he thought he was in love. It scared me. I felt the same though. We continued this relationship for about a year & decided to meet. When we finally met, it was a short & quick lunch date. I really thought that after meeting, he would not be interested anymore. But I was wrong. We continued to chat, e-mail, & phone for another year. The distance made this relationship very hard for both of us.
After some time we were both seeing other people & our "love" was put on a back burner. We both left LF. We grew distant, but I thought of him often. I wondered if he ever thought of me & the feelings we had for each other. He was always on my mind even while I was dating. We stayed in touch but not like in the beginning & I missed him very much.
Busy with everyday life, day by day, our relationship was fading.
I knew he was dating other women & it made me feel bad but I did want him to find someone to make him happy. I was/am dating also.
He stopped communications with me about a month ago & I thought I knew what that meant.
A couple of days ago I got a pleasant surprise. I got a text from him. "How are you? I hope you are well."
I haven't answered him & don't know if I will. I don't know if I want to go down that road again...but I will answer your question. Yes, you can fall in love. I know we did.
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Nope. You're not alone Island and Petale. I, for one, am likely to have true feelings for someone, and really want to get to know them better. HOWEVER, I will reserve the three little words for an "Oh WOW!" moment. Those moments are, from my limited understanding, supposed to be in person. I don't think I can get the fireworks from a telephone or computer monitor. So, I don't believe I would say it without truly *feeling* it-- in person. --True

I, myself, do not think love at first site is a real thing but I do think one can fall in love before you meet. It is true that a person can be whoever they want on here or on the phone so you need to watch for the phonies but if you thinks they love the person they are talking to then when they meet the person is as they appear while chatting then it is and was love. So bottom line, Yes one can fall in love with the image that their cyber or phone partner is putting forth. Good luck to you and   more...

I, myself, do not think love at first site is a real thing but I do think one can fall in love before you meet. It is true that a person can be whoever they want on here or on the phone so you need to watch for the phonies but if you thinks they love the person they are talking to then when they meet the person is as they appear while chatting then it is and was love. So bottom line, Yes one can fall in love with the image that their cyber or phone partner is putting forth. Good luck to you and all here---Tom

PS-like the new pic less...